We have a daughter! – Letters to bae

Dear future ❤ bae


So before I tell you about our child… (isn’t she pretty by the way? She takes the strong personality of her mummy to a fault!  )… may I share with you my experience on my first week at work? A brief one. Midway through my day, I was informed of a send-off party for a “colleague” – a respected professor who now had an appointment as a vice-chancellor of a reputable university in Africa. During all those speeches, all I could hear myself saying was: “I personally know the vice-chancellor of the University of ….” Heheheehe!

Anyway, two things run through all the speeches that were read out that day. No, it wasn’t his academic/professional achievements – mind you he had LOT’S of them! What he was most remembered for were:

  1. His interest in people beyond work (or what they can offer him) to their personal lives and their personal development! They spoke of him being there for them during family issues or marital problems or in seeking to advance in their careers. He didn’t stop them from taking any opportunities that will lift them high; in fact, he encouraged them to!
  2. The values he possessed as a Christian – easily forgives and often found meditating on his Bible in his spare time. One person commented: “I know I am a believer, but the way and manner in which this man forgives and instantly talks to you as though nothing happened, marvels me!”

Hun, I said two but allow me to add a third one (take note of this personal feature so one day when I say I would be ready in 5 minutes, you wisely come drag me out of the room 😀 ).

  1. He referenced a famous quote with a twist in his thanksgiving speech. He said: “BESIDE every successful man, is his wife!

The way and manner he adored his wife, as though she wrote those research publications for him, he showed some genuine depth of love that day and reflected the meaning of the quote “the two shall become one”

So back to our daughter, ok in a minute, I have one more thing to say.

Nearing the end of your life, when I and our twin boys and daughter throw you a lavish birthday celebration, what would you want to be remembered for when the speeches start? I bet whatever job you would be doing, bae, you would excel at it – you have no option there… as a bonafide child of GOD. But would you want to be remembered for just doing your work, just like everybody else would be?

You see, most people follow their job requirements to a letter. They are great hard working employees who get in on time and leave on time. But that’s about it. They do not interact with anyone beyond work. A colleague can battle depression at the office and go on to commit suicide and this hardworking employee might not even realise or might and choose to “mind his business”. The young intern who comes in looking confused every day sometimes just needs someone who would take extra interest in him/her besides just expecting outputs or a report on the desk by a certain time. As to why that intern looks dishevelled every day, nobody really cares – well aside the office gossips.


Around us, in our communities, we are gradually moving into that “I am minding my own business” culture whereby children can live in an abused home for years before someone cares enough to report to the police. That young girl in skimpy clothes who goes sleeping with every man out there… sometimes all they need is another lady mentor who would say, “look, I’ve been there before” or “I understand you” “this would lead you nowhere”. That wee-smoking gentleman too, he probably has no strong father figure playing any mentorship role in his life. They get to hear these things at home sometimes but they are often not said with love, which causes them to rebel more.

Sometimes, they are just empty young people receiving no attention from home who choose to seek the attention elsewhere. That’s really all there is. Please don’t give me the “they would insult you” line. There is always one in there that longs for care.


So having said all these, may I suggest to you my love, that in this life that we would both live, we would seek to make this world a better place than we found it, that we would seek to go beyond ourselves and just care about others, seek to mentor the young people in our communities. When you find your co-worker going through crises, extend a LISTENING ear. Sometimes they don’t need your advice, just a listening ear. When you find a friend coming to work daily with bruises, show some care and support, not gossip! Some women go through hell at home and just that listening ear and an offer to pray with them through their crises can go a long way. Many women (sadly the pregnant ones) lose their lives due to domestic abuse, even though their makeup to cover their bruises often betray them enough for friends to help. At least try and let her reject it. And when she rejects, pray for her.

With teachers, some of their kids are raped and abused by cousins, friends, uncles, aunties (for the boys), houseboys and as I have come to sadly realise, their fathers! You working just beyond your work requirements into actually making these children feel loved can expose these things because they are often scared to talk to their parents about it. At the end of your life, what would you have to show? Your retirement package or transformed lives??

Ok, finally, our daughter, she is our GOD-DAUGHTER. Her parents have placed her in our arms and we would seek to pray for her, counsel her and guide her to a blessed, great future, GOD-willing. I believe that we will have many of these in future, I’m not sure how many kids then we would put on our records, but I would be BLESSED to have such children in our lives! Even if they stray before we “adopt” them, GOD never gave up on us, neither would we. We can do our best. Within EVERY human being is something good hidden behind various walls built due to hurt/offences/experiences. All we need is to identify the right key for each of those wall doors until we reach the goodness in them, GOD-willing!

My love, I love you and I miss you! I’m beginning to have so many dreams about you now, so I believe the time for you to reveal yourself is near. I CAN’T WAIT!! 😀

I’m having a charity concert this year, to raise funds to pay for health insurance premiums of 250 street children on the streets of Accra, Ghana. Baby, pray for me, that it goes well, that many get interested enough to contribute and participate.

As always, I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove you!!!!!! ❤




One Comment Add yours

  1. AAAmali says:

    Reblogged this on aaamali and commented:
    But would you want to be remembered for just doing your work, just like everybody else would be?
    Real Deep.
    If we keep doing things just like everyone else, then they is nothing different about us.


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